So P. wants me to date other people.. which I don’t want to do, because it seems like the ultimate acceptance that it’s over and isn’t coming back..
A friend of mine recently told me that she felt like telling P. how incredibly lucky she was. I don’t think P. looks at it as luck any more somehow though 😉
Well.. I need to work, and I can’t.. I just can’t seem to concentrate. I still am having trouble finding words.. today’s most annoying one was ‘hex wrench’ which I searched and searched and searched for, and finally came up with ‘orange thing’.
Why do we use cars at all, given that so many people drive so irresponsably, either because tehy think it’s cool (i.e. most kids) or because they have ceased to be aware of the danger they weild (i.e. mr SUV driver)? Why do we accept a transit system that costs us so many?
(If I had been in a small car, I’d be dead. That simple. I left a voicemail for Mr. Yuppie telling him to sell his car which I’m sure won’t go over very well.. but hey.. I figure if anyone has earned the right to tell him off, it’s me.. he didn’t even apologize)
I want P. to come back. I’ve asked her to, and she’s in general stalled.. I’m sure from her perspective, it’s a odd question.. why would she leave someone who’s making her happy, to get back togeather with me? I can’t even defend it myself.. but I’d do almost anything..
*cries*
It’s just impossible.
I’m somewaht better now. Thank you,
What hurts the most is that P. is no longer in love with me.
That hurts more than my neck, for sure.
The temptation to just cease living is strong, especially after seeing her.
I mean, everything just seems so pointless..
who wants to live forever
when love must die
I was ready for almost anything.. but not this, I don’t think.
S.
After a trip to the ER and a CAT scan, I am pronounced not brain-damaged. I have a concussion, but nothing is broken and all will heal. My symtpoms are described as typical for the type of injury I sustained.
S.
just got back from the doctor – the prognosis is not good.
I definately have whiplash. I definately have a medium concussion. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for a CAT scan, although there’s little they can do for most of the resulting potential damages.
yesterday, I had confusion, aphasia, and visual distortions. Today, no more visual problems, but still a little aphasia and difficulty finding words. SEems much better tho, so I have high hopes that tomorrow I’ll be fully operational.
My neck hurts.
I hate SUV drivers..
So, today Safeco stated that bluebook was a ‘inflated value’. Bluebook on this car is $3200, but a typical cost for a replacement car of this stripe is $5500.
I’ve decided I’m going to make Safeco pay replacement cost if I have to sue them (therefore making it a financially negative transaction for me) to get it. Hence, the war begins..
So I was rearended by a SUV @ 45mph today.
The van is still drivable, although the liftgate is rather thoroughly crumpled. My back hurts a little bit.. most of the dash popped out.
I hate SUVs.. any normal car could have stopped.. grr..
in other news, saw P. – didn’t go as badly as I thought. Miss her horribly still.
Not sure where any of this is going. Impressed at how things keep going wrong, though. My luck is definately shot.
I survived F.B. – I seem to have survived my post-party all-the-things-that-went-wrong depression. Now I have a bunch of work to do, and I’m sure I’ll survive that too. And I’ve gotten enough fluffy trance to hold me for several months, I think. 😉