Archive for November, 2004

Cori Question Meme

Tuesday, November 30th, 2004

[from Cori] In your journal, post the following questions and then answer them…

1. If you could meet any musical superstar who would it be and why?

Do you know, I’m really not sure. I’d love to meet Fat Boy Slim, because he’s so unassuming and cool – I’d love to meet David Gilmour, because, well, he’s a god. I’d love to meet Seal, because he’s likewise a god. I’d love to meet the Indigo Girls again, because they’re so indirectly wise.

2. If you could only save 1 item from your home/life excluding pets, what would it be?

Gateway, the computer which has all my backups and whatnot on its raid array

3. What was your favorite toy while growing up?

I don’t know that I had one. I would go in phases.. a toy would amuse me for a few weeks, and then I’d move on.

4. If you had to dress in one color for the rest of your life, what color would it be?


5. What was your least favorite subject in school?


6. If you could be great at any sport, what would it be?


7. If you could have any 1 super power, what would it be and why?

The ability to grant other people’s wishes, because this would indirectly allow me to make fascinating and useful and good changes in the world.

8. How many cds or mp3s are in your current collection? (an estimate is ok)

cds: ~300
mp3s: ~2000

9. What year was your favorite birthday? (ie. “my 19th birthday”)

Not sure. Probably the year P. threw me a suprise party, or maybe the year I drove to san fran for a play Mani was doing.

10. If you could swap places with any rich/famous person, who would it be and why?

Bill Gates.. then I could finally fix that *&#( windows OS

thankful for..

Friday, November 26th, 2004

1) That I’ve been gifted with the love of three wonderful women (well, now two women and one man, but, um… originally..) who have taught me lots of things about the world, and led me to many moments of happiness, and given me many wonderful memories. Thanks, , and

2) That I’ve found a couple of online net communities that really do feel like homes to me, Lambda and Brigandine.

3) That I’ve got a good job that enables me to work with my friends and mentally challenges me, and that I have the freedom to leave that job whenever I choose

4) That I’ve gotten a chance to hang out with my family, and learn more about where I came from and what they are.

5) That I’ve been able to acquire skills to play the music that I love, and I’ve found talented and driven individuals to play it with me.

6) That I’ve been able to basically walk away from a freeway-speed accident with nothing but some headaches to show for it.

7) That I’ve resumed communications with a friend who has helped me feel enormously better about myself and the world. Thanks,

8) That I’m honored to have skilled computer geeks like , brilliant artists like , amazing DJs like , photoshop wizzes like , brilliant game people like , amazingly good people like , astrophysics gurus like , geology whizzes like , good singers like Esen and , people who understand humans well like , and hotties like as my friends. In short, I’m thankful for my friends. You all rule! I’ve never felt like I had such a good web of people communicating with me before. And this list doesn’t even include people like Jesiah or Shepard or Owen or Kirk or all the other many people I see every few weeks at parties..

Oracle gathering..

Sunday, November 21st, 2004

Blue laser was *pretty*, despite only being able to use one beam. Must get organized to be able to use both.
Sound system was still 100% operational when I left at 4a. Will go back tomorrow @ 3p or thereabouts to reclaim it and move it back to its home. Should be fun counting cables.. I actually made a inventory of all the cables they took, which probably shows I’m getting anal in my old age, but I’m really tired of coming home with less cables than I go with every time. 😉

Sound system sounded damn good, even tho they were redlining it a little bit. Need more elements, so they don’t have to run it as hot. But that’s something I’m thinking about for next summer, probably not before. Plus adds to the headache factor because will get too big to fit in a cheap trailer.

Not that I have a car to tow said trailer anyway, since I can’t get the rigging for the lights out of my eurovan AFIAK without opening the liftgate.

Hopefully on Monday the insurance company will call and offer me a big check. I’m guessing they will offer me a small check, though. They’ve made noises that don’t give me warm fuzzies on this subject.


Sunday, November 21st, 2004

So, in ‘s journal, she commented that I was a source of drama in her life. P. recently complained about LJ-drama that was induced by me. After careful consideration, I conclude that who I am and what I am results in inducing some drama in the lives of my friends and lovers from time to time. Perhaps even often.

Must think about whether this is a good, bad, or neutral thing, and what to do about it if I determine it is a bad thing. Certainly the drama I induced in ‘s life was a bad thing. It strongly has to do with the drama I induced in ‘s life as well.

But, hey, I made two people’s top ten lists. At least I’m noticed – albiet, probably not always in a good way.

I’m not trying to mess up your lives, people, honest. I just do.

REM lyrics – my favorite new REM song ‘Walk Unafraid’

Sunday, November 21st, 2004

s the sun comes up, as the moon goes down
these heavy notions creep around
it makes me think
long ago I was brought into
this life a little lamb
a little lamb
courageous, stumbling
fearless was my middle name.
but somewhere there I
lost my way
everyone walks the same
pecting me to step
the narrow path they’ve laid
they claim to
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me high.

say “keep within the boundaries if you want
to play”.
say “contradiction only makes it harder”.
how can I be
what I want to be?
when all I want to do is strip away
these stilled constraints
and crush this charade
shred this sad masquerade
I don’t need no persuading
I’ll trip, fall, pick myselfe up and
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me high.

if I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I din’t care what I have to step over
I’m prepared to look you in the eye
look me in the eye
and if you see familiarity
then celebrate the contradiction
help me when I fall to
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me high.
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me high.

From LoveSHack’s fridge..

Saturday, November 20th, 2004

Dance like there’s no one watching
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Work like you don’t need the money
Follow your bliss

From a business card:

Dress like a rock star
Love like a porn star

From sheer’s mind:

Life is to be lived wide-open-throttle. Don’t sit there watching TV.

P. is a bit of a book snob, I realized today during a discussion about The Bridge Across Forever (A book my sister keeps telling me I must read, that I haven’t quite gotten around to yet but I’m determined to squeeze in this month). I’m not much of a anything snob.. well, there are limits to what level of shlock I can put up with.. for example, My Big Fat Greek Wedding = too much. Most things with Meg Ryan = too much. Danelle Steel = WAY too much.

But for the most part, pour the media on me! I mean, look at the cheesy fluffy trance that I *love*

I have no taste. Really. But I don’t mind. 😉


Friday, November 19th, 2004

I don’t think I’m oscillating wildly any more. I have hope that whatever happens, things will work out and be okay. I have friends. I can see multiple possible future paths for me.

Now I have to load up the van and move my sound system down to Segway, then work my ass off and hopefully have NO M(ORE HEADACHES!


Nothing further to report..

Thursday, November 18th, 2004

the headaches continue being painful.

I’m past the begging phase of my attempt to reconcile with P., and in the ‘wait and see what if anything happens’ phase.

She is presumably back from her conference, though I haven’t heard from her yet. She’s probably busy working and stuff.

Had a long/good talk with Kayti last night. Worked some, got some stuff done..

Headaches that are completely immune to all painkillers really suck


just wanted to say to DrWho

Wednesday, November 17th, 2004

Even as I’m ignoring your advice, I appriciate you having offered it. Your best friends are the ones who kick you in the ass when you need it..

.. and sometimes you have to hear advice that’s exactly wrong, to *know* it’s exactly wrong.


You can all stop worrying..

Wednesday, November 17th, 2004

I no longer want to die at all.