I jsut got done seeing eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.. and it’s shaking lots of little things loose in my head. I’m not really sure what to say about those little things, except – I would not, in general, choose to give up my memory of a relationship, even one that ended badly.
So, I’m doing something probably ill advised and diverging from Lee’s design on Scotty in favor of one that I can impliment quicker and dirtier. Assuming that I understand the concept at all – but I’m pretty sure I do, it’s a pretty simple concept.
Anyway, the offshoot is that I’ll probably be setting fire to some silicon soon, a concept which makes me oddly cheery.
Tory dropped by again last night. I’ll post a link to our handiwork as soon as I figure out why the Viao has decided it doesn’t have a network card. (this isn’t new – things have been burning out on that laptop for the last few years – it’s well past what anyone would call a normal operating lifespan for a laptop, and it’s been run very hard as well, so I can’t really complain that much).
Anyway, so he also wants to do some live performance stuff soon, so we’re going to try and meet once a week, and sooner rather than later try and get a booking somewhere. Look for us coming to a club near you.
In the meantime, I’m trying to get Esen to do a open mic with me on Sunday – oh, shoot, I just realized I’ve double-booked myself for Sunday. Hm. Will have to talk to Tory about that. Anyway, if she goes for it, it will be my first public performance since high school. I’m not particularly nervious about it though, i mean, so what, I go, it sucks, who goes to the liquid lounge on sundays anyway? 😉
But I am determined to do a open mic somewhere soon..
TO LJ friends, sorry I’m behind on my LJ reading, I’ve been busy working. Will try and catch up today or tomorrow.
Anyway, nothing all that exciting or new. P. called, may be going to a movie, she sounded progressively more annoyed though. ;-(
S.
Okay, so it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I don’t really have anything meaninful to say now, either, I’m just slacking.
I’m currently juggling the parking meter code, the next-generation battery balancing system (which I’m again putting noticible time into), my fusion project (which I’ve got other people putting noticable time into), and my everpresent attempts at creating music.
It’s been a month since I’ve smoked the greenage, and about six since I last smoked tobacco. (I don’t have any real interest in resuming tobacco, although I do have to admit that there are parts of weed I miss.)
I think the next addiction I’m going to give up is C&C/Generals. In fact, that might, from a wasted time category, make more sense than giving up weed.. since I still do productive and interesting things when I’m lit, but time spent blowing up computer-generated charicters is pretty much gone forever. Unless you think military strategy is something I’mg oing to need a lot of in the future – something that seems a wee bit inaccurate. Among other things, the physics model in C&C/gen needs some pretty noticable work – if it were actually to scale, the chinese nuke would wipe the entire map clean.. 😉
The real reason that I’m giving up weed for social events is, as observed recently, fear. I spend entirely too much of my time being afraid, but when I’m not under the influence, this fear doesn’t rule my actions and I can do risky things even while I’m afraid of them. When I’m lit, I’m much less inclined to take risks – and what success in my life I have thus far I owe completely to taking risks.
I had a good week.. P. was on spring break, and we spent it togeather, visiting her family and playing games and whatnot. We managed to get through the entire week with no horrid moments, which I suppose is encouraging for a possible reuinfication.. (as Bush says, I’m a unificator, not a dividificator). In any case, it was fun.
Sadly, my plans to go to Scott’s wedding and SoCal were scrubbed because of a data disaster.. a obscure bug in winCE ate 120,000 transactions on parking meters, and I had to build software to uneat them… Good clean fun, um, kind of..
Other than that, there’s very little to report in my life. I have a headache at the moment… that’s about it.
As usual, I think of lots of interesting and deep and meaningful thoughts to write down, and then when I actually get to the point of writing in my journal, I can’t think of any of them. It’s a conspiricy or something..
Oh, I will do a breif weed retrospective, since I promised I would and since it does seem worthwhile to marshell my thoughts on the matter.
I first smoked herb in the summer of 1995. The first few times I smoked it, it had no real effect on me. I understand this is not unusual. The third time I smoked it, I rather enjoyed the experience.
It definately makes me hear a lot more in music, and see a lot more meaning in everything and many more complex layers of meaning. It also makes me think about trends in my life from a longer perspective, and understand the big picture in a way that I’m not normally inclined to do. That is the primary reason that I continued to use it.
It also brings periods of almost transcendental happiuness, especially when combined with certain types of music. On the other hand, it also brings periods of extreme fear, inclines me not to talk to other people, and makes me even more clumsy than I already am, which is a pretty impressive stunt since I’m already pretty clumsy.
It occasionally provides me with a sense that there is a god, and I am talking to him/her/it (and sometimes, getting answers). Thus far I have considered this to be hallucinatory, although I’ve never gotten bad advice this way..
Is weed evil? No, I don’t think it is. Why have I not smoked for a month, and why am I seriously considering dropping it? Well, there are a few reasons.
First of all, it slows down your thinking for several weeks after use. That’s a awfully high price to pay for one night’s entertainment.
Second of all, it’s a carcenogen, just like tobacco. Okay, so you don’t use as much, it’s probably not as serious a risk, but still, cancer is cancer, and dead is dead..
Third of all, it makes it much harder for me to talk to other people. This is not something I need, believe me.
Well, here I sit, listening to appropriately sad and depressing roxette songs, procrastinating.. I’ve done some debugging today, and implimented one measily feature. Tomorrow I have to pack..
I’m going to Texas with P. to see her family.. which may be awkward, given current situations, or may not be. Anyway, I like them better than my own family and want to see them.. and it’ll be a interesting test of how our relationship has evolved and in what direction.
http://www.plethora.net/~seebs/faqs/hacker.html
This may be the single best document for understanding me I’ve ever read.
http://getregistered.org/?site_id=0000125393&media_id=0000165027
That’s a first. I mean, there are no lies in it, no attacks.. it almost doesn’t look like a republican ad at all..
Well, I just woke up (3 hours later than I expected to, but that’s a good thing I guess) – after having what has to qualify as the world’s weirdest nightmare. It had everything.. really good sex, dead pregnant mothers that when their bodies were exhumed turned out to have no babies..
I wish I could remember the whole thing – it would have made a _great_ book a-la steven king. A lot of it was set in Arkansas – it started out with a news story..
Pity, it’s gone like a soap bubble. I’ve been having lots of nightmares lately..
So today I’m going to clean the basement (heh heh heh) and figure out how I managed to break A$ in a attempt to fix it. (Important lesson here: it’s a bad idea to send off software without testing it first. I wonder what I did this time..)
(I already knew about it being a bad idea to send off software without testing it – this is akin to building a computer and putting the case on without testing it – it virtually guarentees it won’t work. Don’t believe me? Obviously you’ve never built a computer..)
But I’m awake, sort of – and thinking about breakfast.
‘Closed on thanksgiving’.
I had to stop and laugh for a few minutes before I could drive my load of trash in.
Yes, there really was a sign saying ‘closed on thanksgiving’.
Of course, there I was with my VW microbus with rakes and shovels and impliments of DEEstruction – but fortunately, it wasn’t thanksgiving, so they let me in and I guess that does away with any hope I have of not getting drafted.
My old van.. (which I am selling, by the way, if anyone wants a $750 Chevy Lumina APV that has a tendancy to eat thousands of dollars out of their bank account.. it has a good stereo, and a interesting collection of bumper stickers) has a sticker which says ‘Deep, considerate, sensitive, and horny’. A friend asked me about it the other day, and I made some noncommental reply.
After considerable thought, I’ve decided that sticker may be the closest I come to truth in advertising.
What’a amazing is that it’s still quite true, five years after I got the sticker. Although I think I’m losing some of my consideriteness, which makes me sad. (is that even a word?)
I mean, lately I tend to growl at my boss whenever he asks for anything extra, I seriously think about the state of my bank account before handing out money to homeless people.. I am becoming, slowly, a asshole. This is not something to be encouraged.. 😉
[In general, snapping at people is not something to be encouraged]
I’d claim that it was people rubbing off on me, but that’s a lame excuse. I alone am responsable for my behavior..
Anyway.. I’m seriously, seriously tired. I was tired when I woke up (at 12:30a) but I couldn’t convince my body to go back to sleep. I’m tired now, and I can’t convince my body to go back to sleep.
I’m about to make a serious attempt to find Seattle’s dump. This should be interesting.. [Why? Well, I have all these boxes of trash in my basement.. no, trust me, this is more than the garbage men are going to take.. yes, really..
I’m again solvent, which is reassuring.
I made the evil activesync plugin work. I”m not so much pleased as suprised.. there are tons of really bizarre, undocumented features in the activesync API which lead me to think someone at microsoft really hated the rest of us.
But you knew that.
What exactly does one search for when one is looking for the location of the nearest dump? I’m sure it must be on line.. everything else in this city is. Hell, they probably have a applet which lets you upload your trash..
There used to be a ad for a couple of kids with a truck who would come pick up your trash for you for a small fee. But I’ve forgotten the number, and I don’t think the ad is still there.
http://www.rpi.edu/~huberb/bush.jpg