Never been one to let the carrier drop

Some time in the future I will read this journal.. assuming it doesn’t get lost somehow.. and see it through the eyes of me ten years older. How odd that will be? Some day, assuming that M. chooses to reveal it to him, my son will read my words and see whatever echoes of me he cares to see.. (probably in between hating me for giving him up for adoption, but such is life.. ).

Remember that it’s not neccesarily true that the old are wiser than the young. There is wisdom in both, and shortsightedness in both. In the middle there is also wisdom and shortsightedness.

And the young deserve a vote just as much as the old. By young, I mean ten-year-olds if they were willing to go to the polls. Six year olds. two year olds.

Sometimes it seems to me that the young deserve more of a vote. After all, they have to live with the aftermath longer, in every decision we make.

I haven’t smoked weed for many weeks. Just haven’t felt like it. [and, I haven’t smoked tobacco in a couple of months now. But that was a choice, I have indeed felt like it, sometimes it kind of .. eats into me in a odd way. Definately a addictive drug.]

Drugs. Drags. Chemicals. Thoughts.

What will me at 80 think of me at 27? Sometimes I wish I’d started this journal earlier.. in order to capture my life over my life.

The amazing thing about LJ is how it will enable us ALL to capture our life over our life. It’s a amazing thing.

Now to figure out how to make it last millenia, would be the next logical step. To send it winging through the stars, saying we, too, in all our minutia ,were here.

LJers for eternaty.

It’s a neat idea, really. Once your words are spoken, they are etched in time. Of course, then the trick becomes finding the good ones. There are already so many LJs that I couldn’t even begint o read a tenth of them. Some of them quite poignent and good, some of them quite interesting stories. Others, like mine, quite dull. 😉

We are what we are.

S.

Darkness falls on winter lands
Time’s arrow again disbands
We also serve who lie in wait
Hour after hour, taught carefully to hate

Men will clash in fire for oil
Black gold rain nuclear fire on earth’s soil
In seven years the wells run dry
In seven years fire streaks across the sky

For men were never bred to share
While we dream of love, our leaders hatred bear
While we reach for peace, they build machines of war
while we search for hope, they close freedom’s door

All for money do the “good men” die
All for nothing do we to our children lie
The cycle burns on, another war
In another hundred thousand years again eagles will soar

How many times have we played this role
How many cycles only gods could know
How much hatred must man invent
How many more fights for ‘The President’?

You’re Turkey!
You have a good deal of history behind you, both good and
bad, but through it all, you’ve become a leader among your friends.  You
have an uncanny ability to make friends with people who hate each other, though
sometimes you just hate them instead.  Surprisingly fickle, you keep a
good balance in your life between religion and humanism, but most people think
you’re fanatical anyway.  You’re Istanbul, you’re
Constantinople.
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

—————————————————————————

Time keeps on slipping.. into the future like water, dreams wandering off and running away where you can’t look nor see nor find nor taste nor smell. I awaken from dreams more vivid each day, not sure which is sleep. Hallucinate reality, is there any difference between a hallucination of reality and what’s really real? What if my whole life is one large dream running on a very large computer somewhere? Not the matrix. Not the reality. Something huge and complex and shifting this way comes, and I beg for a root console, for a instruction manual that I can page through, for rules I can understand.

Programming windows opens new doors of perception?

I miss acid. But I’m too afraid of it to return. It’s not addiction.. not like nicotine was, before I decided to leave it behind. It’s more.. beauty. Amp up your pattern recognition tenfold. And yet, who would I trip with?

The fear. Weed brings out what is already there – except sometimes it doesn’t and is a truly good experience. I feel so small. So useless. So insignificant. So much like people would choose to not know me.

And yet.. ego. I am good at some things. I know this because people tell me.

I’m not under the influence of anything right now, for those of you who might think otherwise. Just pausing for a minute.

Wlell, back to the parking meters.

First of all, a story that will be giving me chills for weeks: http://www.livejournal.com/community/ljers4eternity/23038.html#cutid1

Second of all, I discovered this story while reading through a community devoted to LJers who have died. Which is a interesting thought.. apparently LJs time out these days, so you won’t be able to read about my thoughts and works forever, which is perhaps a good thing and perhaps just as well.. but if you could, then LJs would make a neat permanent archive..

Third of all, while reading through that community, I discovered a whole lot of people pissed off because of a journal-person who had maintained a fake charicter in order to kill it off. That person’s journal was also deleted.. (after s/he got 1000+ comments and outpourings of greif..)

Look, first of all, I’m getting tired of reading about how people’s LJs are deleted because they perform some infraction of the more or less nonexistant and/or loosely defined T.o.S. – to be honest, I’m starting to have a hard time trusting LJ – but second of all, there’s absolutely no reason that journal should have been deleted. At least it should have been left as a testiment to a brilliant snow job. It must have been astonishingly good fiction in order to garner 1000 comments on the last page – my journal will be lucky to get ten!

And, really, maintaining a fictinal LJ seems just as reasonable as maintaining a factual one. A journal’s just a notebook.. scribble anything you want. Doesn’t have to be the story of your life.. could be the story of someone else’s. Could be the story of the life you didn’t manage to have, walter mitty style. What’s the problem here?

Personally, I think it’s deplorable that Flash/Flashman’s journal was deleted. It’s even more deplorable that a admin of some BB that the charicter was on saw fit to abuse their admin privs to publish IP address information (http://www.livejournal.com/users/bubba_ray/37574.html) about the charicter. Look, it’s the net, fiction is out there, no journal was promised as fact.

Of course, I have a strange view of fact and fiction and death of fictional charicters anyway. Let’s just say that I am upset when fictinal charicters die as well.

Fact? Fiction? Who knows the difference?

Not george bush, that’s for sure.

54% feminine.

Hmm. As with all things, I sit squarely on the line between genders. Which isn’t a bad place to be particularly.

I survived my extended family.. even enjoyed being around a couple of them. [I discovered that the children of my favorite great-uncle are just as cool as he was – I guess that’s not suprising. I still miss him sometimes.. ]

(For those of you who don’t know me personally, every year my extended family on my dad’s side has a holiday called ‘Thanksmas’. I’ve avoided it for years and years, very carefully – since my extended family on my dad’s side don’t have a lot to reccomend them. And they were mostly just as bad as I remembered – of course, they still don’t think much of me either. They were glad to see me anyway, though, even though they think I’m a commie left-wing pinko longhaired freak.. 😉 My favorite quote from the visit: “Jonathan, you know you’re a little too late to be a hippie, right?”. No, no one told me that peace and love and weed had gone out of style.. 😉

Anyway, so, I went to south carolina and back, and more-or-less survived the experience – my first time there in 13 years, it’s amazing how much their house had shrunk. Perspective is a interesting thing. I also remembered Clemson, SC as being a huge city.. heh heh heh…

And now I’m back at work on the parking meters that just don’t quit. P. wants to borrow the living room for a party on friday, so I also have to drag the piles of boxes, packing material, computer components, and old mail out of it, which should be interesting and time consuming.

In other news, I figured out how to control my lights via MIDI and audio, and have been having all sorts of fun with them. I need to get one more tree to set up the two more I-scans, and perhaps pick up one more laser.. (if only the blues weren’t $3000). Still, they look really, really sweet.

And I’ve collected a ton of samples.. some of which are truly priceless. I’ve also been editing some of the recordings me + ron made, and have one pretty close to presentable..

S.

You are ‘Christmas Time is Here, by Golly!’, by Tom
Lehrer. Hmm, you really don’t like Christmas,
do you? From the moment they start playing
carols in the shops in October to the
appearance of the first Easter Eggs in the
shops on New Years Eve, the rampant hypocrisy
of the Christmas spirit sets your teeth on
edge. You know just how many family fights
start over Christmas dinner, how many people
are injured in the Boxing Day sales, and how
few people actually find Christmas even
remotely merry. You liked Scrooge far better
before those ghosts got to him, and you are
only doing this quiz because you are bored at
work and anything is better than listening to
everyone else discuss their Christmas shopping.
Still, it is two days off work, which does
count for something… Enjoy the break.

What Christmas Carol are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

How cheerful. 😉

I bought myself a AudioTron. I’m not entirely sure why, otehr than it was cheap on e-bay.

While the MP3-player is okay, the interface is not nearly as handy as a computer. But, there is another side to the audiotron.. a far cooler side.

A few seconds after I plugged it into my LAN, it detected a list of radio statins. 147 of them. Right now I’m listening to psytrance.. it’s been going for a hour, at 128kbit quality, and there have been no ads.

How cool is that?

S.

(whose head is killing him)

Go to google.

Type in ‘miserable failure’. Hit ‘I’m feeling lucky’.

S.

001. name : Sheer
002. nicknames : Jonathan
003. sex : Any time.
004. birthday : May 2nd
005. age : 27, and would like to be younger
006. sun sign : Taurus? I have no idea what this is
007. place of birth : Heidelburg, Germany
008. current residence: Seattle, WA
009. hair colour : Dark blond
010. eye colour : Blue-Green
011. height : 6’2″
012. writing hand : I don’t write if I can help it. And I use both hands to type.

____BODY ILLS + SKILLS
013. do you bite your nails : Yes
014. can you roll your tongue : No
016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : Yes
017. can you blow smoke rings: No
018. can you blow spit bubbles : No
019. can you cross your eyes : Are you kidding? I can use them to look at two monitors at once!

020. colored hair : I did blue this halloween
021. tattoos and where : None
022. piercing and where : None
023. do you make your bed daily : I don’t know that I’ve ever made my bed.
024. what goes on first bra or underwear : I don’t wear underwear, or bras.
025. which shoe goes on first : I’d never given the matter much thought.
036. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone : No
037. how much money is usually in your wallet? : $50, mostly in $5s
038. what jewelry do you wear 24/7 : A necklace that P. made for me when she was 14.
039. whats sexiest on a guy : Two words: George Michael.
040. whats sexiest on a girl : Eyes, upper back, stomach if well defined
041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great : I’ve never been either on time or looked great.
042. do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : Neither. I do the ‘Lady and The Tramp’ suck. 😉
043. how many cereals are in your cabinet : Three? Four? Depends.
044. what utensils do you use eating pizza : My hands and my mouth
045. do you cook : Sometimes, usually mac n cheese, sometimes pasta or chicken. (somehow I think it’s funny that I didn’t have to edit this line from the person I lifted this quiz from)

____GROOMING
046. how often do you brush your teeth : twice a day
047. how often do you shower/bathe : every day
048. how long do these showers last : 5-20 minutes.
049. hair drying method : Roll down window on interstate.
050. do you paint your nails : Once
051. do you swear : Yes
052. do you mumble to yourself : Mumble? I hold three-sided debates!
053. do you spit in public : don’t even spit in private
054. do you pee in the shower : Sure

____OTHER
055. the cd player : Or mp3? 😉
056. person you talk most on the phone with : Probably Lee Hart.
057. what color is your bedroom : Under the dirt?
058. do you use an alarm clock : No
059. name one thing or person you’re obsessed with : music, electric vehicles. Oops, that’s two.
060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : Yes
061. ever sunbathed in the nude: No. And the world thanks me.
062. window seat or aisle : Aisle.
063. what’s your sleeping position: Curled up.
064. what kind of bed do you like : Vinyl
065. in hot weather do you use a blanket : Yes
066. do you snore : Not that I know of.
067. do you sleepwalk : Not usually
068 do you talk in your sleep : No
069. do you sleep with a stuffed animal : Sometimes
070. how about the light on : Never
071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : No
____WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
072. had sex : 2 days ago?
073. were kissed or kissed someone : 2 days ago
074. watched bambi : 2 years ago?
075. cried : 2 weeks ago?
076. talked on the phone : Today
077. read a book : Today.
078. punched someone : Middle school

____MUSIC
079. is music important to you : Yes. Is air important to you?
080. do you sing? : Sometimes, when I feel like torturing people
081. what instruments do you play? : Keyboard, guitar, drums occasionally
082. what do you think of Eminem : Mostly I can’t stand him,a lthough I do like the ‘Brittney Spears’ remix of ‘The Real Slim Shady’
___DO YOU LiKE
083. pop music : From the 80s, sure. 😉
084. rock music : Yes
085. punk music : Sometimes.
086. rap music : DJ Jazzy Jeff, yes. Aesop Rock, yes. WHat most people call rap, no.
087. hip-Hop/RB : Occasionally
088. country : Occasionally
089. jazz : I’d give it a 7. I dig it but I can’t dance to it. 😉
090. classical : Yes
091. new age : I *write* new age.
092. what is one band/singer you absolutely love that no one else does or seems to have heard about : Emmit Swimming
093. Techno? : Yes, please, more, more, more, louder, more lasers, can we get some more people dancing and less people making out please? You, over there, would you go ask the DJ if they could turn up the midrange so that it keeps up with the bass? And turn down the Suck knob a couple of notches?

It’s the email, the email, what what, the email..

https://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a251

S.