Recovering from Christianity..
I’ve discovered it’s very hard to come up with a set of search terms to feed Google to find a support group for helping people recover from religion. Among other things, I suppose there’s some inherent irony (possibly quite a lot) in searching for a 12-step program to help you get over your view of your higher power.
But I do think I’d be better off with like-minded people. I’ve tried visiting Christian chat rooms, and this leads to me understanding why churches get firebombed. [Obviously, as one who is against war and for respect, even thinking about such actions make me inherently unhappy. I did have this rather humerous – to me – vision of me writing down my entire manifesto and going around nailing it to the doors of churches.]
I’m not going to make it out of this universe in one piece, am I?
[I have this interesting view that maybe the reason religions make me so angry is that they’re not right for me, and I resent that other people can just, you know, believe them and be happy. Once I’ve written one that I can just believe and be happy, perhaps I will feel better. The problem with this is that writing a religion is a fscking lot of work, and involves rather a large number of decisions, all of which are difficult]
January 16th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
have you tried searching for “deconversion stories” that will probably lead to at least a forum of people that are also moving away from religion.
i don’t know if you’re headed our way but we athiest don’t really eat babies and have live human sacrifices. we’re really nice reasonable people!
January 16th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Probably the best way to de-religionize yourself is to study other religions. Maybe. I figure that no one religion has it right, and some may be way off. The basic tenets are sound, but the methodology has a lot to be desired.
Study some of the religions, pick the bits that make sense to you, and see if that will work.
January 16th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
um…why don’t you just hang out with your regular friends. They are not Christian, right? you don’t need a support group for that. You just need SUPPORT. Seriously, I just don’t know why you continue to fucken care what religious people think and believe. Just live your life, be the best person you can be, and you’ll come out okay! Or take a little bit of the good stuff from every kind of religion! Imagine a world where we all believed in the same things? screw that!
you know, you’d be a lot happier if you you just changed what you tell yourself. For the love of Shiva, get on with it!
January 16th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
What goamaki said! 🙂 I’ll leave another comment too of my own.
January 16th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
I don’t know how to say this. So I will bumble it out, and hopefully it goes well. Obviously, I want to state, whatever religion or state of being or whatever you want to be in is fine with me! I will like you just the same.
It makes me really sad, some of the things you have posted here. I consider myself to be a Christian Pagan. I don’t think you’ve ever talked to me about it. I don’t claim to be any kind of expert, and I only believe what I believe from my own personal experience, which I think is the best that anyone can hope for and rely upon when making there decisions. I grew up going to church, I rejected that, I joined some holy rollers, I got wise, and I have come back to my home church because they are logical and wise and open and non-discriminatory. My heart breaks for people who have experiences that don’t go along these lines. Because that is not my experience.
Scott recently told me that things affect me so deeply because I have never really known an unaccepting world, except the one I have build for myself. And he’s so right. I wish that instead of trying to deprogram yourself, you might have a positive experience in which you realize that there might not be any answers, only faith and hope. You can certainly have those things outside of any religion/spirituality/whatever you’d want to call it, as well.
But I think that’s all besides the point really. Religion is religion. I think what everyone else said is right on. You definitely need support from friends, people, on a basic level. And studying all religions could be a great way to even out your views. Or maybe you need to reject it hardcore. I respect that too. It just makes me sad, but that’s my own bag.
Is it possible that you want all of your questions answered in nice little boxes with bows? Cause that will never happen.
January 17th, 2007 at 1:36 am
I hadn’t tnought of those keywords. Thanks, this is really helpful.
January 17th, 2007 at 1:37 am
‘You know, you’d be a lot happier if you you just changed what you tell yourself.’
I don’t know exactly what you mean, but my hunch is, you’re exactly right. Can I get more details?
January 17th, 2007 at 1:43 am
Is it possible that you want all of your questions answered in nice little boxes with bows? Cause that will never happen.
Well, it’d be nice.
I’m too tired to fully answer this, but hopefully tomorrow..
January 17th, 2007 at 9:02 am
hrm…I’m surprised you ask me this. I’m sure, like me, in your sessions you have been told how important your internal dialogue is. It’s as if someone is standing right beside you, talking to you, yelling at you, degrading you, judging you, etc. It’s scientific fact that the more a person is exposed to something, they will adapt to it. That goes for words and action. right?
And the funny thing is, it’s not that “THOSE” people are judging you or even care. It’s YOU who have taken over for them, and are doing the judging to yourself, BY YOURSELF. Sheer, I have a feeling when growing up (and even today, perhaps with your parents), you’re struggling with a past filled with judgements by other people. And now that you’re away from those people (physically), you’ve taken over for them, and tell yourself what they used to tell you. They are no longer there, but their dialogue is. It’s right in your head, filling your time and energy with shit that you don’t even relate to in your adult life! I seriously suggest you realize you are an adult that can choose to say “fuck you” to those voices, and just be the adult man you have the capacity to become. You’re not helping anyone by questioning so many things; you’re only digging yourself deeper.
I’m totally lecturing you right now; I apologize.
Do I have to come down there and kick yo’ butt?
😉
January 17th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
hrm…I’m surprised you ask me this. I’m sure, like me, in your sessions you have been told how important your internal dialogue is. It’s as if someone is standing right beside you, talking to you, yelling at you, degrading you, judging you, etc. It’s scientific fact that the more a person is exposed to something, they will adapt to it. That goes for words and action. right?
No, actually, no one has ever mentioned that. I just recently started to clue in on it myself when I noticed how hard I am on myself. I mean, yes, I’m not perfect, but I’m hardly continuiously and unremittingly stupid or evil.
And the funny thing is, it’s not that “THOSE” people are judging you or even care. It’s YOU who have taken over for them, and are doing the judging to yourself, BY YOURSELF
Yes, so true. If I could just figure out how to stop. I feel like I’m about to get Yoda’d – “Do, or do not, there is no try”.
heer, I have a feeling when growing up (and even today, perhaps with your parents), you’re struggling with a past filled with judgements by other people. And now that you’re away from those people (physically), you’ve taken over for them, and tell yourself what they used to tell you. They are no longer there, but their dialogue is. It’s right in your head, filling your time and energy with shit that you don’t even relate to in your adult life!
Also amazingly perceptive. Odd how sometimes we don’t see the most obvious things.. No, I’m serious. Until probably a few weeks ago, I wasn’t even aware that this was a problem. Then I recently, for my own reasons, tried to go a day without saying anything negative about myself in my head. I haven’t been able to do it yet. ANd that’s a entity that I know is me and not some other hypothetical deity or demon.
I’m totally lecturing you right now; I apologize.
No. You’re saying what needed to be said, something that not many people are willing to do. I hereby give you permission to pat yourself on the back. 😉
Seriously, you’re very, very right. I’ll look into this further.
January 18th, 2007 at 8:39 am
well, I’m glad that you’re at least taking a look at things from that ol’ Third Eye. You have probably been so distracted by um, “things”, not to mention your own self degradation, that you’ve failed to realize that you are your own abuser. I, personally, can’t go a day without being negative about myself in some way…so don’t think you’re alone in this level of thought. It usually creeps up on me. But things ARE a lot better, now that I have started exercising again, reading more, and socializing with a few close friends. I tell ya, those things have been my savior. And I had to do it all by myself! And stop making excuses. I had to give my self a good talkin’ to in the mirror, literally. “No more!” I said.
Yes, there is no try, only DO. hehe. Yoda is a genius.nn1
January 19th, 2007 at 9:12 am
http://www.geocities.com/recovering_from_religion/