One of the reasons I am convinced I am not seeing reality, or not seeing all of it

One of the reasons I am convinced I am not seeing reality, or not seeing all of it, is the signficant absence of a genre of fiction in both video and text. It would not be difficult to create a number of storylines not currently evident in the world I look out on, including stories where only good things happened, stories where neither side was evil or bad, stories where the experience was polymorphic, etc. And yet I do not see fiction of that type. I think Avatar would have been a great movie if they had cut the war scenes and instead continued examining the experiences the protaganist was having in his Avatar, even though there would have been no inherent conflict. But it seems like all plots on Earth revolve around the idea of conflict.

I am strongly considering the possibility that my mind is filtering out all possibilities that don’t involve fear and pain, and acting as a resonant filter on the possibilities that do. I am not sure why it is doing this, and it’s really a rather scary possibility – on the other hand, it seems to also not be dragging me through *too much* fear and pain, which I appriciate.

I very much get the feeling, especially in what I experience while I am dreaming, that there are a number of forces in play in my mind. One subset clearly wants me to experience all sorts of awesome. Another subset clearly wants me to experience pain, suffering, fear, anger, guilt, and shame. Another subset is less clear on what it is trying to drag me towards, but it seems to involve challenges.

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