Personal growth

So, I think we managed to achieve some genuine personal growth this weekend.

Historically, at Lemons, my driving style has been to stay out of everyone’s way – this basically means yeilding the line (the most optimum path through a curve) – in fact just staying out of it at all times. This is not exactly a way to race, although it does make for a nice sunday drive in a racecar.

However, on Sunday, I came up behind the Snipe, and had one of those character defining moments.. I seem to recall my exact thoughts were ‘fuck it..’, and I dropped to third and passed.. and then (since I was up to mid-4th gear speed anyway), I rode out the course in top gear, holding the line about 50% of the time, tires protesting at every turn.. I probably took 20 seconds of my average lap time. I went from sunday driver to apprentice hoon.

(Also.. my team won the top prize at Lemons, the IOE!)

Morever, on the way back from the race a van tried to occupy the same spot on the road I was. Now, I’ve always had no problem doing evasives in this situation, but historically it introduced a emotional state similar to a panic attack. This time.. I was amused.

From my experiences running from the police, I know deep inside me is a genuine racecar driver – anyone who can drive a Honda Oddessy at 120 mph through US 101 without so much as scratching the paint clearly has what it takes to be a hoonatic in terms of driving skill – what I lack is the confidence and emotional/mental configuration to believe the line belongs to me as much as it does everyone else out there.

Numerous times in my childhood this was a major problem as well – I failed to assert myself or understand that my point of view and needs and wants were just as valid as my parents’.

Lemons pics at http://www.sheer.us/stuff/Lemons-Buttonwillow-2015/

One Response to “Personal growth”

  1. Firesong Says:

    Your needs are at least as valid as anyone else’s.

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