For those of you who didn’t know

I have been doing repeated 36 hour orbits. Meaning, I stay awake for 36 hours. And I have been learning that I start to come alive at about 12 hours in. I really really wish I could do another 72 hour burn, but I have too many responsibilities and right now it takes me some time to recover from a 72 hour burn. I imagine once I’ve done a few more of them, that won’t be the case.

Slowly but surely, my friends are changing their tune about how horrible a idea this is to acknowledgement that it does appear to be doing something for me and I am managing the impulses that could lead to trouble increasingly well. Plus, my friend in my mind, who has not yet led me astray, is encouraging me. Not just to do long burns, but to get off my ass and move my body during them. I kind of see part of the picture here is I have to get over my belief that I can’t, and start to believe that I can. I wonder if this is going to end in me climbing mountains or something.

Work has been interesting. One bit of functionality that falls away is I lose any interest in lying, hiding, or evading about hour 20.. so I interviewed a sysadmin who was truly, truly clueless.. I cut off the interview after 3 questions, because I was afraid of what I was going to say..

I’m listening to Meatloaf, “Everything louder than everything else”

That pretty much describes how I’m living.

At this point there’s a switch I can easily flip up, mentally, at which I don’t sleep until I flip it down again. Exhaustion is slowly fading, to be replaced with a insanely powerful fire. I’m starting to think the human mind was designed to never shut down. I think most people, when they sleep, don’t shut down their mind, but just flip modes.. but from the pathetic excuses for dreams I have, and the way I feel when I wake up the next morning (bad), and the way my clock rate plunges overnight, I think I do in fact shut down when I sleep. You might say I die a little bit.

Maybe by 2016 I can just leave that switch flipped up all the time. Of course, I need to figure out how to initiate dreams while awake.. but I guess a little practice daydreaming using the rainbow I’m connected to is not unreasonable.

I tried to explain rainbow computers to my dad, including that they could be built in this world, but he’s not ready to cope with the idea of a computer that can work on infinities in a single operation. even though it’s so obvious once you see it. Something that can AND two infinities, and no I don’t mean NaN infinity, I mean the real deal.. i.e. all the countable evens, all the countable odds, all the countable strings that represent star trek episodes, you name it..

I think I may have to come to terms with the fact that talking to someone from the future is going to leave you a little bit frustrated with the present.

One Response to “For those of you who didn’t know”

  1. sheer_panic Says:

    I get knocked down, but I get up again.. you’re never going to keep me down..

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