I’m proud of the strangest things. I’m proud of the fact that sheer.us is on the first page of Google for the keywords ‘america the broken’

And none of them are even mispelled.

But I still can’t go out to a bar to have fun without behaving very strangely, not knowing how to say hi to anyone, being freaked out by being myself, screwing up culturally in some major sense, and..

I did have fun at times. Half of me had fun. Half of me didn’t.

I feel so strange in this world.


4 Responses to “..”

  1. samsarra Says:

    Yeah. Me. I went to the same clubs for years in Santa Cruz and saw the same people, and could never talk to any of them. It was great fun to dance, but I was too shy or freaked or whatever to actually have conversations. Weird, eh?

  2. samsarra Says:

    For years I went to the same little bars with music in Santa Cruz and saw all the same people, and never spoke to any of them. Ever. I had fun dancing, but was excrutiatingly unhappy about being alone there. But somehow couldn’t do anything about it.

    This is the complete opposite of my life when I was 19. I went to the same club, the Pteradactyl Club in Charlotte, NC, almost every night. Saw the Ramones there once. And I knew everyone, and everyone knew me. I walked in the door the first time and struck up a conversation with the door guy and just kept talking. Talked to everyone on the floor, all the DJ’s, the bar guys, the manager. Danced my brains out by myself every day, never hooked up with anyone, and not for lack of offers, and was blissfully content.

    I have no idea what changed over the years.

  3. brassratgirl Says:

    it doesn’t help I suppose that that place is decorated like a high-end brothel.

  4. anonymous Says:

    People in bars are friendly because they can blame any mistakes they make on the alcahol. Even the dumb girl in the corner who had half a wine cooler, so she had something to blame when she acted like she really wanted to without the inhibitions. I feel so sorry for that girl. 🙂


    b00! 🙂

Leave a Reply