1) Be this public announcement, thusly that I can not possibly have anyone claim that I didn’t post it and it wasn’t publicly announced (this a reaction to a email P. sent me)<\/p>\n
a: I am in love with P., and want her back. Anyone else who might seek to be involved with me should understand that I am in love with P., and will go back to her as soon as this is a option.. um, maybe.<\/p>\n
b: I say um, maybe because her last email to me shows a lack of respect for me in several particulars, and that makes me wonder if she’d really be happy with me even if she agreed to return to me or if I’d just continue to make her miserable. I suspect she thinks of me as less than her, even though she would claim vehemently that that’s not the case, and that makes me very sad. We once were lovers as equals, where and how did that break down?<\/p>\n
c: I am in no way interested in a romantic relationship with d: I haven’t used any drugs for several weeks, therefore am not using drugs to escape, and I don’t appriciate the inference. I have always been hyperaware of my drug use and its potential to be problimatic – and may I remind those of you in the audiance who seem to be taking a slightly holier-than-thou tack that alchohol is a drug as well? Yes, I went on a one-week N2O bender – but we’re talking about a drug so harmless that you can legally buy it OTC here. And even in that week, I still got work done, and still finished up the album.<\/p>\n e: I’m aware of the fact that you can date without sex, because I’ve (kind of) done it – what little dating I’ve done recently has been sexless. I haven’t had sex with anyone since P. – and I’ve been up front with everyone I’ve even so much as flirted with. No one out there thinks that they’re about to enter into a long term relationship with me, or that I’m over P. or even remotely over her. Everyone at this point knows that I want her back..<\/p>\n Except, do I? It used to drive me nuts when she’d order me around, and I just got a 20 paragraph list of orders, with no sign that even if I followed them all, she’d return. And a list of assumptions that hurts even worse i.e. that I would enter into a relationship with someone else without telling them that I was still thoroughly stuck on P., that I would have nonprotected sex with them (I have learned, you know – I can be taught), that I would go inflict myself on some poor 20-year-old (who isn’t even interested in me and probably wouldn’t be anyway), that I’m some sort of druggie who has just been using drugs continuously to escape..<\/p>\n All her assumptions except for the first one speak of a lack of respect for me. [cries] am I really willing to enter back into a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect me, even as she complains that I didn’t respect her? Do I respect her?<\/p>\n Well, yes. Fine. I’ll do all the things I’ve been ordered to do. But pardon me if I cry about it a little bit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 1) Be this public announcement, thusly that I can not possibly have anyone claim that I didn’t post it and it wasn’t publicly announced (this a reaction to a email P. sent me) a: I am in love with P., and want her back. Anyone else who might seek to be involved with me should […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1466"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheer.us\/weblogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}